BarhorstBarter471
facebook parenting - Just a few months ago my son Nathan, age 13, declared he wanted a FaceBook account. All of his buddies had one, and that he wanted one, too.
After my stomach knotted somewhat and I said a silent prayer, I agreed he could open a FaceBook account, but explained to him there would make sure "conditions."
Like any child nowadays, Nathan often comes to father and mother with requests for this thing or that thing he absolutely can't do without. And the man always comes prepared with convincing arguments...why he craves a cellphone, the newest gaming innovation, or some other 15 songs from iTunes.
His cases are strong, but my husband and I are united in our position that Nathan shouldn't get everything that he requests. If he did, what can there be to appear toward, to work towards, to dream of? That's why Nathan doesn't always have an XBox, PlayStation or Wii. He doesn't own a PSP and never has already established a GameBoy.
Everything that being said, Nathan has always were built with a computer. Starting at 36 months old having a kid's VTech computer purchased in ToysRUs, he's upgraded every couple of years towards the latest, greatest, yet reasonable version...nevertheless the creme de la creme was his iMac he got for Christmas last year. He doesn't actually overlook a great deal. He still reaches play games (only it's those created for a computer), but also along with his computer he creates music using his guitar, records and enhances songs with GarageBand, adds original soundtracks to his own iMovies, and uses it to accomplish his homework. Though not to excess, we encourage his computer interest.
When Nathan stumbled on me along with his FaceBook request, I said "yes," albeit with some trepidation. Similar to most parents, I have heard the stories about failures and knew the possibility danger the Internet and sites like Facebook could cause to get a vulnerable teenager. But I'm also an advocate of informing and educating our children so as they mature they can result in the right decisions for themselves. It is simply that in-between time from child to young adult that's so perilous these days to cause us parents to look gray, particularly with a further risk of the Internet.
So this is exactly why the "conditions." I told to Nathan it was a lot like driving a vehicle. It would be foolish of me or his father to hand over the keys at 16 or 17 and expect him to use a car safely without proper training, instruction and guidance. The same holds true with the Internet and, in cases like this, having a FaceBook account. There's things he needs to know to keep himself safe, to protect his privacy understanding that of his friends', and also to understand the "ins and outs" of safe maneuvering by way of a teen's social media.
teenage social media - What exactly were these "conditions?"
1. The e-mail that Nathan registered his FaceBook account with was one which I had access to. That meant at any time I could get into his account, have a look and make sure everything on his FaceBook met the "Mom and Dad Everything Looks Okay" test. Also, something that was written on his wall came to me via email notification.
2. He consented to "Random FaceBook Reviews" where we might question to adopt us through his account. These were intended as instructional, basically fun, low-key reviews of what he shared in his profile, pictures (if any) he displayed, that which was written by his friends on his Wall, bumper stickers he collected as well as other things he could supply for view by his friends.
3. He could only "Friend" kids he knew, and simply no adults (except for his dad, me, and his Aunt Carol).
4. Your computer which he used will be located in a public spot within our house and not in the room or behind a closed door.
We constantly adjust as things change like FaceBook updates and extra features, but the operative word here is "we." It is a "family affair." Nathan knows that father and mother are involved because we're most concerned about his safety and never about attempting to catch him doing a problem. Now, it isn't always hanging around; we do have conflicts, however the important thing is always that we keep your communication lines open.
And also you know, I've seen some results with all the FaceBook experience, as well. The teenage years in many cases are tough territory to move...particularly the early teens. You've got some teens maturing quickly, while others less. And it is hard...for both the boys and girls. But what I'm picking up from the messages as well as other FaceBook dialog from Nathan's "friends," both children, is an ease with which they communicate through this medium...bypassing that awkwardness that people encountered as teens. I asked Nathan with that, if FaceBook made it simpler to speak to girls or to other people he could not usually meet in the band of friends. He agreed it absolutely was a pressure-free, fun method to speak to somebody that he could not ordinarily feel comfortable conversing with.
FaceBook now offers an opportunity for all to customize their space, encouraging our children to be creative and giving "friends" an overview into what makes our youngsters so special. Finally, it provides a backdrop which to have instructional conversations with our kids. For example, 2-3 weeks ago I used to be seeing some emails arriving that were not favorable towards a certain young female. I made use of it as being a learning opportunity, emphasizing empathy and reminding Nathan how however not need others to speak about him the way in which his friends were referring to this young girl...a genuine learning opportunity that without FaceBook we would have missed.
teenage social media - As I'm penning this, Nathan comes into my office and asks, "Hey, mom, there exists a funny bumper sticker about... (some marginally inappropriate saying). What do you think? Can I put it through to my FaceBook? I believe it's hilarious!!
"Alright," Certainly while i remind myself this is a predictable developmental milestone. I'm not really too old to keep in mind a few things i was like at this age. Pick your battles, Susan, just pick your battles.
